Second one of the day. 🙂
The frost crunches beneath my feet. My hands are stuffed into my pockets, gloves too thin to keep my fingers warm.
The sun is just rising above the city, casting its pink and orange glow over the snow. I shiver, trying to bury my head further into my coat, trying to hide away from the bright world and the pain it brings.
In the darkness, it all seemed so much calmer, so much softer and easier. The light casts everything in sharp relief, showing the flaws and shadows of all the plans and possibilities I found in my mind.
The trees stretch out, reaching dark arms towards me. I keep moving, heels clicking down the path, taking me home. A small breeze wraps around me, catching little strands of hair and pulling them back, back to the streets of my night.
I keep moving, heart fluttering, chest tight. I cannot go back. Not again. I know if I do, I will not return.
The park gate reaches up to the lavender sky. Its shadow creeps out into the road, pointing the way.
I hurry across, avoiding the gaze of the few people who walk the streets this early. Cars race past, their engines loud and filling my mind. Thoughts are scattered things, coming together only occasionally to make sense.
I reach my door, slip the key into the lock, and pause.
Inside I will be warmer, there is comfort and safety. I stare at my hazy reflection in the frosted glass. I am nothing more than one of the shadows in the street. A ghost pretending to live here.
I feel I should cry. I should ache for all that I have lost. Yet I do not. I feel nothing. Only a dull sense that I must go in. I must dial a number and wait for them to come again. To tell me all that they have before.
Or I could keep walking. I could close my eyes and embrace the oblivion that clutches at my heart.
I hover, key in the lock.