Grief

My hands run over the grainy surface, and I feel the memories. The small cracks and bumps ignite the flames of moments in time in my mind. I close my eyes and let them wash over me.

I am standing on a beach. She is beside me. Wild red hair blowing back in the ocean breeze. The sun is setting and I can feel the last of its warmth on my skin. She takes my hand, turns to me and smiles. There are tears glistening in her eyes. 

We are sitting on a couch, her eyes are closed and her chest rises and falls with the steady rhythm of the sleeper. Tears are falling from my eyes. I keep them silent. I won’t let her see me cry. 

Happier times. Christmas. Our families are with us, opening presents. I can smell dinner cooking. She catches my eye and hands me a silver package, tied with a perfect blue bow. I open it and inside is the necklace that I had admired in the shop window months ago. I smile, happy tears in my eyes. 

It is raining. Miserable. The perfect weather for a day like today. I close my eyes, refusing to see the box disappear, refusing to accept the truth. She is not gone. She cannot be gone. 

My hands caress the cracked and worn surface. I don’t know how I will ever bear to stop remembering, how I will ever not need to sit here and hold this and let myself be taken back. I do not know.


 

Originally published on Describli, written from the prompt: Feeling its history

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10 thoughts on “Grief

  1. As I said before, this is a really beautiful scrib! Memories can be such powerful means to either make or break someone. Sometimes I wonder if there can be a superpower of some kind with memories!?
    Now that’ll be really interesting…
    Have a great day dear!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A memory superpower, hm, now there’s a spark for a cool idea. 🙂
      We all have to live with memories, both good and bad. I think they both shape us, as much as we’d like to get rid of the bad ones sometimes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Agreed. Sometimes I think what my life would be if I simply forgot all the sad memories, but then, again, I won’t be who I am today without them. Good or not, can’t say. But it is as it is, isn’t it?

        God, I’m feeling so exhausted in trying to keep up with work and writing and studying… Sorry for the philosophical blabbering…
        Have a great day!

        Liked by 1 person

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